This Man Has No Children...

So I've come to the realization that I will probably never write that post about video game music. Instead I thought I'd give you something different. The videos below were made by a gentleman who calls himself "Smooth McGroove." He has done acapella versions of some video game classics. I was pretty impressed by his videos. He listens to each channel on a track and then replicates it, puts the videos together, and viola! awesomeness! Here are some of my favorites:

This is "Blood Tears" from Castlevania II: Simon's Quest:



Here's "Spark Mandrill" from Mega Man X:



Finally, here's my favorite - "Corridors Of Time" from one of the best video games ever, Chrono Trigger:




Cool stuff huh? Also, as my title points out - this man cannot have any children. Cuz dang - I only have one and I barely have time to poop by myself.

Paramore - "Paramore"

Paramore - Paramore
2013, Fueled By Ramen

1. Fast In My Car
2. Now
3. Grow Up
4. Daydreaming
5. Interlude: Moving On
6. Ain't It Fun
7. Part II
8. Last Hope
9. Still Into You
10. Anklebiters
11. Interlude: Holiday
12. Proof
13. Hate To See Your Heart Break
14. (One of Those) Crazy Girls
15. Interlude: I'm Not Angry Anymore
16. Be Alone
17. Future

Well it's been a good four years since the last Paramore album. The band has been through a lot in that four years - losing members, etc. It's good to see they didn't call it quits because I've always liked them. I read in an interview that no ideas were off the table when making this record. It shows... seriously, seventeen tracks? Wow! I can imagine them sitting around a table, wild with ideas. A fuzz-filled bass track? Yeah! Hawaiian ukulele interludes? Yes! An 80's tinged gospel pop song? Yep! A lounge flavored soft tune? Why not? An epic shoegazer-inspired finale? Sure! All of this diversity, mixed with some more traditional sounding songs create a fun and diverse album that is really a pleasure to listen to. Hayley Williams has one of the best voices in pop music today. She is equally at home with simple pop songs like "Still Into You" as well as the hard rockers like "Anklebiters." I will say I would have liked to have a nice acoustic song like "Misguided Ghosts" but we do get "I Hate To See Your Heart Break" - a nice sensitive ballad. Speaking of which, it reminded me of Starflyer 59's "She Was My Sweetheart" and I wouldn't be surprised if the band wasn't maybe listening to both Silver and Gold as I think some of those discs influenced this album's sound. Nowhere is this more apparent than the aforementioned epic closer "Future." It starts mellow enough but builds up into a distorted wall of fury that lasts over seven minutes. I have to respect the band for pulling something like that off. The only track I don't care fore is "Daydreaming." It's kind of boring and almost sounds like it could have been on the band's debut, which if you'll remember, I didn't care much for. That being said, Paramore is proving to be one of those rare bands that is only getting better with age. I don't get to say this about a lot of albums, but I say with confidence: Paramore is the band's best album yet.

Useless Fact: Hayley wrote "Hate To See Your Heart Break" for one of the other band members when Paramore was considering calling it quits. He was sad that he wouldn't be able to see his friend and band-mate after the break up.

Queensryche (Tate Version) - "Frequency Unknown"

Queensryche - Frequency Unknown
2013, Deadline

1. Cold
2. Dare
3. Give It To You
4. Slave
5. In The Hands of God
6. Running Backwards
7. Life Without You
8. Everything
9. Fallen
10. The Weight Of The World
11. I Don't Believe In Love (Re-recorded)
12. Empire (Re-recorded)
13. Jet City Woman (Re-recorded)
14. Silent Lucidity (Re-recorded)

So I guess there are two Queensryches now. One of them features most of the original musicians and new singer Todd LaTorre and is releasing an album in June. The other one features vocalist Geoff Tate and whoever can stand to be around Geoff Tate long enough to release an album. Tate's version, Tatesryche recorded Frequency Unknown in six weeks or so and shoehorned it onto shelves. I guess Geoff just had to beat the other guys to the punch. I picked this up because I was kind of hopeful. I was hopeful that Geoff would really bring his A-game. I was hoping he'd give us this dark, progressive album that truly tested his own mettle and challenged the boundaries of music like he's always claiming. I was hoping he would totally rock this and out of all the feuding and nonsense we'd get two awesome Queensryche albums. Unfortunately, that is not what happened...

See, if you're going to show up your former band-mates  I would think you would want your absolute best songs. I would think you'd want to wait for the competition to go first, giving you the edge. I would also think you would make an album that was...y'know... really good. Frequency Unknown isn't awful but it's just so full of wasted potential. While I like quite a few of the tracks, nothing really rises above "average." "In The Hands Of God" and "The Weight of the World" are two exceptions that could have been really awesome if more time would have been taken. But who am I kidding? That's pretty much the story of this album - a complete rush job using the Queensryche name to spite Geoff's former band-mates. "Dare" is quite clearly aimed at the other guys. It's all kind of juvenile if you ask me. Especially since Queensryche has always been known as an intellectual band.  Also, Geoff's voice has not aged well. He sounds shaky and strained throughout the disc. This is not the album you put out if you're trying to lay claim to the true 'Ryche throne.

And as if that wasn't enough, the album includes a few re-recorded versions of 'Ryche classics. Naturally, all this does is to showcase how flaccid the preceding material really is. It also pretty much puts to rest any notion that Geoff can still sing rock. During "I Don't Believe In Love" as the song builds up to the rippin' chorus, Geoff can't even be bothered to sing it. The vocals just drop out into background vox. Lame. Totally lame.

Useless Fact: I think the other band was originally going to let Tate keep the name. They were known as Rising West for awhile. Also, in case anyone missed it: Frequency Unknown.... F.U.... yeah... you stay classy Geoff. *rolls eyes*

Symphony X - "Iconoclast"

Symphony X - Iconoclast
2011, Nuclear Blast

Disc One:
1. Iconoclast
2. The End of Innocence
3. Dehumanized
4. Bastards of the Machine
5. Heretic
6. Children of a Faceless God
7. When All Is Lost

Disc Two:
1. Electric Messiah
2. Prometheus (I Am Alive)
3. Light Up the Night
4. Lords of Chaos
5. Reign in Madness

Symphony X's Iconoclast is proof that, as I've said before, sometimes you can judge a book by its cover. See I was at Best Buy getting some CDs while on vacation when I saw this. I thought to myself, "Oh, I listened to Paradise Lost and didn't like it that much." But the twelve-year old in the back of my brain went, "BUT LOOK AT THAT COVER ART IT'S FREAKING AWESOME WE MUST GET IT!" Since I was on vacation I decided to take a chance and what would you know - it is freaking awesome. Freaking. Awesome. Metal. The kind of metal I haven't heard in quite a while. The kind that makes you throw your fist in the air and yell "EFFING METAL MAN! RRRRAAAAOOOOORRRRRRR!!!. *ahem* Sorry. Anyway, I bought the one disc edition and liked it so much that I immediately purchased the special edition when I heard it was the band's preferred version (the standard edition left off three tracks).

The music itself is a mash of progressive metal, power metal, and maybe some thrash. Russell Allen's vocals are gruff and growly but he's equally adept at melody as is the case with the single "slow" tune ("When All Is Lost"). The riffs are fast and furious with a nice crunch distortion tone. The mastering is just about perfect - no loudness wars bull-crap here. Each song has a great hook and it's just progressive enough to make the songs really interesting without resorting to technical wankery. Though honestly, I've grown to like technical wankery, but that's neither here nor there. My only complaint is that the booklet is an enormous fold out poster. It's hard to follow along with the lyrics when I have to spread out the welcome-mat-sized liner notes. I much prefer booklets - small, compact, and easy to manage.

Useless Fact: The album's concept deals with machines taking over the earth. Supposedly it was an exploration of how electronics and what not have become so pervasive in our society.

Iron Maiden - "Piece of Mind"

Iron Maiden - Piece of Mind
1983/2002, Sanctuary

1. Where Eagles Dare
2. Revelations
3. Flight of Icarus
4. Die With Your Boots On
5. The Trooper
6. Still Life
7. Quest For Fire
8. Sun and Steel
9. To Tame a Land

What strikes me as I listen to Piece of Mind is not the excellent musicianship, the innovative riffing, or the powerhouse vocals. No, what strikes me is the fact that, man, these guys were huge dorks. Seriously. Just look at the subject matter - mythology, war, fantasy... oh, and let's not forget Frank Herbert's Dune. At some point they figured out that playing music and growing your hair long gets you more girls that memorizing Paul Atraides' lineage. Still, this is a classic metal album and while Number of the Beast would probably be the album that defined the genre, Piece of Mind perfected it. A must for any metal fan.

Useless Fact: A lot of the songs were written by the bassist, Steve Harris. As a result the songs have a lot of cool bass. Can't complain about that, no sir!

Metallica - "Kill 'Em All"

Metallica - Kill 'Em All
1983, Elektra

1. Hit the Lights
2. The Four Horsemen
3. Motorbreath
4. Jump in the Fire
5. Anesthesia (Pulling Teeth)
6. Whiplash
7. Phantom Lord
8. No Remorse
9. Seek and Destroy
10. Metal Militia

So I may have shared about how my cousin and I would Christmas shop with my grandparents. They would give us twenty bucks and we were supposed to buy presents. Naturally, we'd buy lots of cheep things so we'd have enough money for tapes later. The first ever time we did this I got Metallica's Kill 'Em All. My grandmother's reaction was, "Oh my..." in that sort of huffy-sigh she always does when something out-of-sorts happens. I was like, "Um... they mean kill all the bad people.... yeah...." Anyway, I got this after getting the other ones. Naturally, it's a classic. The band was young and hungry and it shows in every note. They were a little less thrash and more speed metal/punk here - clearly showing their Motorhead influence (in songs like "Motorbreath" and "Whiplash"). They're lyrics weren't quite as sharp either, often dealing with violence, fast living, and how awesome metal is. Several songs have Dave Mustaine in the writing credits. Most people know "The Four Horsemen" is also Megadeth's "Mechanix."

Useless Fact: The first printing of this album had two extra tracks on it. "Blitzkrieg" and "Am I Evil?" (a Diamond Head cover) were two covers that were left off subsequent printings. I know this because they tape I bought had those two tracks and I've never seen another edition with those two tracks. It makes me sad.

Dream Theater - "A Dramatic Turn of Events"

Dream Theater - A Dramatic Turn of Events
2011, Roadrunner

1. On the Backs of Angels
2. Build Me Up, Break Me Down
3. Lost Not Forgotten
4. This is the Life
5. Bridges in the Sky
6. Outcry
7. Far From Heaven
8. Breaking All Illusions
9. Beneath the Surface

So I guess I'm a full Dream Theater fan now. After all, I've gotten more and more DT and only disliked one (Systematic Chaos). So... how does the band fare after the departure of cornerstone Mike Portnoy? Answer: pretty good actually. In fact, I think anyone who says "the band sucks now that Portnoy's gone" is crazy and biased. A Dramatic Turn of Events is a fine album. It's vibrant and varied. You can tell the guys are really giving it their all and trying to prove to the fans that it wasn't all Portnoy. The drums are pushed back in the mix a bit and the bass brought out - which isn't really a bad thing if you ask me. I think there's also a little more variety in the songs here. I don't think I've heard a fully acoustic ballad from these guys but the album closes with one of the most beautiful ones I've heard ("Beneath the Surface"). I do think "Build Me Up, Break Me Down" is a tad too long but that's my only complaint. Actually, there's nothing in this album that makes me fear for the band. Quite the opposite, I'm excited to see what they'll do next.

Useless Fact: There is some throat singing in "Bridges in the Sky." We were listening to it in the car and my daughter said, "Is that a burp?" She's so cute!